National State of Alert:
(as of 3-8-04)

Personal State of Alert:
(as of 3-8-04)

Reason for Personal State of Alert:
- So this is post-college life? Really? *shivers*

- The Passion of Christ featured a deleted scene where Christ called me out and told me "You're next"

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joelthecat.diaryland.com

Party Nite, Pt. II
2001-08-27 - 11:26 p.m.

So yeah, my bad, I cut myself off earlier- I didn't expect Ashleigh to come as early as she did. Check the last post if you missed it to keep you up on the timeframe up to that point.

I sung "Special" by Garbage, mostly directed at Dave, cuz I'm over him as anything more than friends, which is a very healthy thing... I don't think he was really even hearing me, he thought I was a *chick* at first, before he realized it was me up there... it's a hard song to sing, I know I wasn't sounding my greatest... but whatever, I felt better after that.

Susan, from my photo class, and her sister, Ipti (I think that's how you spell it) finally showed... I hung with them, and let them know I sung already. I introduced them to Dave, gave her the brief run-down of how we knew each other... and um, yeah. We chilled... I picked out another song to sing in front of them, and went with the old standby for me, "Black Water." That went a little better, I didn't fuck up as bad, and I got some compliments from friends. At that point, I believe Dave was makin out hardcore with this dude, Hunter. Hunter's pretty hot, and super flirtacious, and kissy... nice lookin guy.. so I'm like.. "rock on, Dave." Susan was kinda impressed by the boldness of it all, Ipti seemed amused... but it was drawing time for the drag show, so we headed into that chamber of the club.

I scored my first taste of liquor for the night, taking some kind of liquor mixed coke from Dave... I'd been going to the club for weeks and weeks, and he'd gone for THREE days, and already, he had a hook up behind the counter despite his age. To say I was a little jealous.. well, hell.. I was a whole lot jealous, and I let him know. But I got two mixed drinks before the end of the night, so I got to partake a little bit- Dave also mentioned an after-party after they were done at the club... and though the two chick friends of mine wanted to head to Club One, I decided to hit up the after-party and prepare myself for what I figured would be some crazy wild nite.

The drag show mostly sucked, though it wasn't as bad as I remember. The wait for it to start was as long as un-mowed grass... and I kinda cut out early, wanted to get a headstart on Karaoke again, and to join the Queer World pack, who mostly gave up by then. Hunter wanted someone to go up with him to perform, and he picked out "American Pie...", even though I didn't know it well at all, I went for it.

Well, that blew. Ha! Hunter may be a great player, but he can't sing.. not saying I was much help, but I think I was at least TRYING to hit some notes here and there... and the damn song went like 8 minutes too... stop the pain!

Got back to the main floor, chilled near the pool tables again. Watched Dave make out more, watched as Susan got "distracted" by her watch whenever things got a little too heavy or crazy... watched as her sister got hit on by a lesbian grandmother (poor babe!)... and soon after cut out, cuz the cows were getting restless. I said bye to Susan and her sister, and rode sharing a seat with Dave while Hunter made the trip to Queer World in his truck. Somehow, we survived just fine.

Arrived at Queer World, a good number of the posse, and some people I'd never seen before were there already. I went for a beer, drank... whee! Shawn was hittin on me, a dude with.. um, a history in the house, which I will not get into.. was kinda bein frisky with me.. we kissed like, two or three times... which was fine... facial hair is.. um, interesting... but whenever it was getting a little too heavy, I excused myself for water. Kinda amusing.

Yeah.. water- at that point, I gave up on drinking, cuz the thought of anything else entering my stomach other than it was making me feel sick. After about 3 beers, and one mixed drink, I couldn't stomach anymore, and I ran through water like a fish, and made bathroom pit stops more often than a taste tester with a baby's bladder.

Mmm Hmm- so anyway, bad analogies aside, we moved to the TV room, and tried watching Bring it On, unsuccessfully, and we harrassed the straight army boy that was there, to moderate success, then started watching Jeffrey, which we gave up on pretty quickly, after we saw the Sigourney Weaver scene, which was the best part. Somewhere around that point, Shawn gave up on me (he realized the whole "water" trick), and again, somewhere in there, I saw a penis.. as someone showed off his Prince Albert piercing. He was kind of an older dude in the room... but still... saw a pierced penis. Mmm Hmm.

Dave and Andy did ecstacy, and I know my more straight edged friends would be upset at me for sayin this, but I was a bit jealous. I have put this on my list of things I want to do at least once before I keel over.. and Dave knows this, so who knows what'll happen in the future. Dave wound up hookin with that Hunter dude during that period... not to anyone's surprise... and they did a good job of seeming not TOO out of it... hmm.. if I try it, I think I just got to be in a situation where I won't do anything too retarded with someone I'd regret later.

Hmm, things moved to the living room... well, I kinda moved into the living room first to hang with sober guy, on the couch. He was the only other dude who wasn't drunk, kinda like me (who was on pure water-mode at that point)... and he was quiet, and chillin, and I kept callin him sober dude. I found out his name was Anthony later... ya know, when I was screaming it in the bedroom.

Okay, that part's a lie. And I apologize if my use of proper sentence structure and my overuse of the triple-dot thing is high this post- it's hard for me to keep things in sequence; but I'll try... dot dot dot.. hum...

So yeah, Dave came back down in his undies, though he was in them ever since he got to the house... there was some porch time with he and a few other folks, where we got all deep and discussed histories... well, no, I was mostly silent, but I heard the history of the house, and a bit more of Dave's past... probably the "truth pill" aspect of Ecstacy I've heard of. It was all kinda interesting, I found out Dave tried commiting suicide at one point (meep! him too)... and um.. yeah. Despite the fucked-upness of the party goers, people were kind of open-books, which was cool. Well, at least in some ways. Maybe it's just cuz they've done SO much stuff compared to me, that hearing part of their life stories seems like a lot. Aaaanyway.. after the truth on the porch came...

TRUTH OR DARE!! In the living room no less. It was a pack of homos, and two black, hot straight chicks. Actually, this wasn't directly following the porch, cuz I remember exitting the bathroom after one of my many pee-breaks, and seeing someone with his pants down, having *something* done to him, though what, I don't recall. Yes, I saw lots of penis. Lots. Most people went for dare's.. cuz truth's were no fun with no one really having shameful secrets. I kinda witnessed for a while, but then people decided they *did* want to pick on quiet me... so, after seeing some penis'... I was exposed to the group as well.. um... yeah. Actually, I was a little *more* than exposed... there was contact with another human's hands too.

Oh shit! I have STRAIGHT friend's reading this! RUN! I know it's too late- but RUN!! That is if your jaw on the floor doesn't make you trip!

Yeah.. so thing's got a little wild. I was definitely not the only one who had that happen to, though. At least I wasn't the recipient of the penis thwack on the head, while being forced to say "I'm your bitch!"... or the penis piano playing. And when it was my time to make people do stuff... I made them a) pretend to do an actual dog doggystyle.. b) triple kiss (three people kissing at one time.. I wanted to witness that :-)), and c) I came up with the idea of having someone come up with a ten line erotic poem.. but he crapped out, so I had to settle for making him tell me the worst pick up lines he's heard. I was holdin my own!

Ooooo, and after a field question of "Who in the room would you have sex with?", where I admitted to the screw-ability factor of four room members (the club bartender, a cutie named Barry, Dave, and Sober-dude...) well, someone dared me later- the chick, actually... dared sober-dude (Anthony) to kiss me for 10 seconds... ("no wait.. make that 20! Til we say stop!")

I checked my breath... not seeming TOO bad... and we went for it... his facial gruff kinda itched a bit... but it was cool... they didn't need to stop us... really. :-) I played it cool, but yeah... night highlight.

The game continued a little past it's welcome.. the sun came up. Jason, the bartender, decided he wanted to go the beach. Dave and Andy (the E-rollers) decided they wanted to go.. and Barry and this other dude Joe wanted to go too.. so we all squeezed in Jason's car, and drove the 15 mins out there. I thought we were just going to chill on the sand, and rest up there and watch the sun-rise... nuh uh. They one by one made their way into the water, despite their clothes... well, I was still in my velvety shirt, and dress pants- but I'd be damned if I was the only sucker not going in... so I went for it.

It wasn't cold- there were some cool waves from the storm two days ago... my pants didn't bog me down too much, though I think I probably fucked them up. Much swimming and chillin was done.. I saw the sun rise from behind this single cloud on an otherwise empty, gradient sky.. it was gorgeous- very serene... and then Jason's pants came off. This lead to Dave's pants comin off.. and his undies... and I don't know if anyone else went for it.. but I decided- hmmm... I've never skinny dipped before.. this seems like something that I need to tell my grandkids... whee!!

I got to skinny-dip in the ocean. Woo hoo! Seemed like an appropriate topper. I felt like the kid on the Nirvana album cover- only no one was waving money at me... it was kinda interesting, if not overly fascinating since I didn't really let anyone see anything. I was too pre-occupied with not losing the pants and undies I was holding in my hands to the ocean. Now that woulda sucked.

So after a while of that... driftin and swimming in the waves- watching the bold one, Jason, lose his shorts and make an ass-baring dive to grab them again (and put them on his head, where they belonged)... we headed back to the car in drenched attire. Joe gave his best Beavis impression, and my initial vibe off him as kinda scary wore off... though it's not like I got super-close to anyone there, it was still cool... an awesome experience, which I won't soon forget. We rode back to the Queer World house, drenched, and reality kicked in a little, as I realized I wasn't quite done with photo stuff, and needed to be back downtown kind of early. I took notes as to the street signs and what turns we took, cuz I figured my friend Shasta lived kinda closeby and could come save me if need be. And yeah, I kinda needed saving.

I went to look for a room to pass out for awhile. The living room had four people in it... the TV room had at *least* six, there were bodies everywhere.. and upstairs- well, Dave was in one of the bedrooms, 100% sharing.. and all the other rooms were taken with who knows... so that just about left the computer room as the only empty room. I got a pillow from Andy, and then Smokey decided to be "nice" and get me a blanket... rather than make him walk all the way back for him, I cut him off at the living room steps and was willing to grab it... he was like "pfft!" and insisted on laying it out for me.

This is after I overhear him comment on me having smooth skin... which I kinda do... but that's luck for ya... I could kinda tell he wanted me er something though.

"Worst case, you don't mind if I stay in here, do you?"

"Nawh, that's cool"

He returns like, 2 mins later, and is like "Worst case."

Fine, that's cool. He then decides to "double up" on sheets... meaning he got through my first line of "defense", where I was prepping to wrap myself up in the blanket... we were under the same one, and so- two gay guys, one sheet.. there shall be snuggling. And that's fine... but before he layed down after moving chairs and stuff out the way.. I made a comment like "Geez, I'm so tired, I'm gonna just get some SLEEP!" This was ignored.

So yeah. Ever play the "accidental touching game?" Oh yeah, I have. I'm sure everyone who's had a few sexual encounters under their belt had. Usually, it's really tense, and kinda hot, and pretty cool. Sometimes.. well.. it's always pretty weak as far as an "excuse" to be feelin someone up... but- it goes like...

"OoooOo, I'm sleeping... I'm sleeping.. I have no control over my hands... or how they're... oh... kinda moving... around- um... key areas of your body.. yeah... I'm sleeping! really! Innocence!"

So yes, his hands were wandering.. and I already promised Susan earlier that night "no sex!", and thought I'd stick to it. I kept re-positioning to make things as difficult as possible for him... it was almost amusing, like chess, at first... his hand would kinda go low, I'd grab his hand and squeeze it, preventing it from moving.. or I'd move my arm in such a way to stop him... and so he'd try and bring his OTHER arm into the game... but after it was gettin a little too obvious, I turned around and was like-

"Um, you do realize I don't plan on doing nothing but sleeping tonight, right?"

He responded in the affirmative... fine... but still, after about- oh... 20 seconds of nothing, it started back up. I decided to wait to cut him off til whenever his hands approached my still beach-soaked undies, and again- was like-

"Hey, um-" (kiss on the lips), "you're cute and all, but nothing's happening this morning, okay?"

This went into the saddest display ever...

"You think I'm cute? Really? No one tells me that..."

I had to laugh- he was tryin the sympathy bit!! No way!

Truth is, he WAS kinda cute... he looked a little like Shane McMahon- who isn't quite sex on a stick for me, but still- anytime someone in real life looks like a celebrity, unless it's like- Louie Anderson or something- it's generally going to work in their favor. But anyway- he pulls the "butter me up! please!" bit on me... I re-state nothing's happening... and we start all over again. Cuz I mean... I'm all down for snuggling, but, nuh uh.

Well.. for me to act like at any point during this I *didn't* consider it would be a lie too. And I apologize to my hetero friends, but if you made it this far, you'll be okay, promise... I thought about the possibility of being the aggressor (or in gay terminology, the "top," and for a little while, I was like "shit! I might actually go for it." But then I thought.. "um.. morals!! Yeah!" "I don't know where he's been!" "I promised Susan I wouldn't!" "Where would we find lube?!" and um, decided not to go for nothin. But anyway.. moment of weakness aside.. err...

Oh boy, am I scaring some people with this post. Just 'bout everyone who knows me. Oh well..

So yeah.. a bit more fondling, and amusement gave way to annoyance. I excused myself to the bathroom, but really, went for the closest phone. He apologized and said he was "really drunk..." I said it was okay, and just got out of there, and went on to the front porch and gave in and called Shasta.

God bless Shasta, she is forever my queen. She was up, and though she was actually *further* out than most my friends, agreed to pick me up.

Thus began the long, long portion of trying to get across to her where the hell I actually was. She tried yahoo maps, couldn't get directions, I had no clue... sober-guy, who was lookin kinda hot in his undies on the couch had no clue how he got there (road-wise)... Dave was locked in a mystery bedroom upstairs... another dude who I'd ask was sound asleep and wouldn't wake up.. the little kid on the scooter who was riding around was scared of me and wouldn't help, there was no atlas or convienent map in the Sunday paper, or the phone book I found... um.. I tried about everything under the sun before walking towards this cop car I saw- luckily, I didn't have to go to the fuzz, as I asked this chick with a doggy, who led the way. Let's pretend that last run on sentence was indicative of the hour and a half that I spent trying to get directions... and then realize there was a whole other hour and a half before Shasta eventually came and "rescued me".

I thanked her un-relentingly... she even brought me to Wendy's before I went into my apartment... and- um... another day at the photo lab started, with little to no sleep. But this is already running WAY the hell long. So.. yes, aftermath, whatever the hell that was, will get another post.

But yes... I'm a fucked up boy. Good thing this is so long, and it's possible my good friends won't bother to read it. Me thing! Me thing!

"Oh, if I've gone overboard, than I'm begging you to forgive me in my haste- but I'm holding you up, oh, close to me" -DMB

Reason for Terror # 82:

Using phrase "da bomb" unwittingly in phone tapped conversations could lead to arrest and beatings by the FBI, local authorities, and hip police.

Reason for Terror # 81:

There was a little bit of mold on that bread you had this morning.

Reason for Terror # 80:

When evening falls, you can try to drive away; but the moon will be following... always following...