National State of Alert:
(as of 3-8-04)

Personal State of Alert:
(as of 3-8-04)

Reason for Personal State of Alert:
- So this is post-college life? Really? *shivers*

- The Passion of Christ featured a deleted scene where Christ called me out and told me "You're next"

Featured Links:
Diaryland.com
OnlineOnslaught.com
MSNBC.com
QuietAmerican.org
MoneyCentral.msn.com
Tremble.com
Weezer.com
Fool.com
GirlsArePretty.com

joelthecat.diaryland.com

Aftermath
2001-09-13 - 6:35 p.m.

Before I rant and ramble about my life, and the good's and bad's in my last week of not posting, my most honest, heartfelt condolences go out to those lost or injured in the attacks on Tuesday.

I was very scared for my family and friends in the city, and luckily, all those close to me and their families have been unharmed, just likely much more shaken and effected than those further removed from it all. I was a wreck on Tuesday; wishing I had slept in and not caught each attack from the first plane hitting as it was reported.

It really makes one wonder about the triviality of a lot of things we do, and question how safe we are, and it just effects everything. I don't know what to add about the topic right at this moment, but I'm sure it will come up again, as September 11th will never be forgotten.

I wound up not going to Baton Rouge last week, despite my saying I would, and after hanging out with Shaun on Sunday and Monday, I decided not to go with Jesse on Tuesday and to give whatever relationship we might have a chance to flourish.

Unfortunately, Tuesday, my last day of school summer break ever was a horrible, horrible ending to an otherwise extremely pleasant, low stress week. Shaun has treated me to various fast food places, we have done the club thing at several ventures and places, made out in park squares, chilled at my house, chilled at his house, and even chilled on an army base several times.. and I like him a lot as he's been incredibly awesome to me. He's the first person that I ever told my mom I was in a relationship with, (leading to an awkward but productive conversation), and it's been unlike anything I've had in my life. Very cool.

We did have a brief scare on Sunday or Monday morning, due to an awkward dream on my behalf. He had been so cool to me, and so giving and everything, and we had been taking it slow in the naughtiness department... that due to the lack of conflict in my life, I think my brain created some. In my dream, a tarot card (he had done a tarot reading for me our first night speaking on the phone), had revealed, in text, that he was a "traitor" of some kind, and that the reason he had taken things the way they went was because he had HIV and wanted to get me to love him before I knew. Very fucked up, undoubtedly, and very untrue.. but it really messed with me that morning, and I told him about it, and things have been a little weird since.

Unfortunately, the very real events have overshadowed my imaginary personal problems, and so.. yeah, things have just been weird.

So other than being generally freaked out about the future of the world in general, and the states, and how things really are never going to be the same, I am very glad to have a source of stability in Shaun, who is funny, cute, nice, smart, and just plain rocks. School has started, and will be keeping me extremely busy- I am not scared of this return to responsibility, and feel confident I can handle my senior year and my profession, and my personal life, and just anything that comes my way. I feel odd right now talking about this all, in the light of what has gone on as of late... but despite tragedy and the horrors of the war-like situation of late, I think I'll be okay, no matter what.

Again, to those who lost family and friends to the attacks, my thoughts are with you.

Reason for Terror # 82:

Using phrase "da bomb" unwittingly in phone tapped conversations could lead to arrest and beatings by the FBI, local authorities, and hip police.

Reason for Terror # 81:

There was a little bit of mold on that bread you had this morning.

Reason for Terror # 80:

When evening falls, you can try to drive away; but the moon will be following... always following...