National State of Alert:
(as of 3-8-04)

Personal State of Alert:
(as of 3-8-04)

Reason for Personal State of Alert:
- So this is post-college life? Really? *shivers*

- The Passion of Christ featured a deleted scene where Christ called me out and told me "You're next"

Featured Links:
Diaryland.com
OnlineOnslaught.com
MSNBC.com
QuietAmerican.org
MoneyCentral.msn.com
Tremble.com
Weezer.com
Fool.com
GirlsArePretty.com

joelthecat.diaryland.com

Drugs Make Me Happy
2001-10-18 - 10:29 p.m.

So my Calendar of household objects on anti-depressants got simplified, a lot to meet deadlines- Rather than having my fork lament how constricting being wrapped in pasta can be, I used my images of household objects in gloomy light as a metaphor to the dullness of day to day. In big text, on the page:

"Everyday. Same old stuff. Same old life. How do you cope? Drugs make you happy!" (Brought to you by Glaxco Pharmaceuticals.)

Each pair of months has an inspiring pair of quotes...

July reads: "Rely on friends to get you through..."

August reads: "Rely on CVS to keep your friends in stock."

All in all, I am mostly satisfied. I still hope to get the larger scale, depressed object calendar completed for my final portfolio class before I graduate.

So other than classwork, which has been keeping me very busy (mostly due to slack-offness)... life's been good. I got to go to the Loading Doc with Mike and Jonathan not long ago, that was cool- and other than singing a bunch and watching Jonathan chat it up with the cute bartender, the highlight of the night was how messed up Mike got. Well, that and a drag queen hitting on my transgendered (Female to Male) friend, digging around for a crotch that wasn't there. Ha!

Another fun thing- Lambda had a dinner get together last night at Wok Inn, a Chinese restaurant. Sweet and Sour Pork for me, interesting chit chat with Katie and Heather (I think that's their names! They'll kill me if it's not...), and lots of me being generally out of it and feeling sick after the meal was through. My stomach's about as strong as a punch from the Queen Mother- and I should know this by now. But... but... Sweet and Sour Pork and fried rice? How could you go wrong? Oh well.

Libido's been dead... I suppose that's an okay thing. I'm thinking I'm too busy following the news and keeping occupied with projects to let my ability to cruise take precedence. I've confronted Eddie about his tendency to tell stories that are the disturbing variety, so he's stopped. I appreciate that. I made him (and myself, of course) a pretty damn big breakfast one day, and he didn't say thanks at all... so I called him out on it (cuz he never would ever say thanks or whatnot)... and so now he's making an effort to be all polite and stuff. I do think I am sorta subconsciously taking out my frustrations on my inabilities to combat the whole terror thing on him, the dude who likes to talk about it, and has lived with scary knowledge longer than I have.

And on a totally unrelated note, he shaved his head. I think it's a rebellion thing. I'm down with that. I wouldn't do it to myself, and it's kinda odd cuz I'm not used to it, but I am down with the whole personal expression thing. So long as he doesn't headbutt me. Then things might get ugly.

And so, for your information, I flip flop between moderate to strong concern 'bout the whole terror crap, to "Whatever... I'm not scared"ness. Right now, I'm in an awkward in-between phase. Eddie's in the living room, I think with a friend over about to watch a movie. I feel hostile, for no good reason. I am in my room with my door closed, listening to Amnesiac. Free moments alone are good. Shaun probably wants me to call him.. well, he left a message on my machine asking me to. I could call him; but I'm liable to be hostile, or whiney, or weird. I don't wanna do that to him, he never understood me when I was like that anyway.

It's tough trying to be a nice person and whatnot. Dern it.

"It's broken and frozen, but still there's no point in letting it go to waste.. so knifes out, cast them out" -Radiohead

Reason for Terror # 82:

Using phrase "da bomb" unwittingly in phone tapped conversations could lead to arrest and beatings by the FBI, local authorities, and hip police.

Reason for Terror # 81:

There was a little bit of mold on that bread you had this morning.

Reason for Terror # 80:

When evening falls, you can try to drive away; but the moon will be following... always following...