National State of Alert:
(as of 3-8-04)

Personal State of Alert:
(as of 3-8-04)

Reason for Personal State of Alert:
- So this is post-college life? Really? *shivers*

- The Passion of Christ featured a deleted scene where Christ called me out and told me "You're next"

Featured Links:
Diaryland.com
OnlineOnslaught.com
MSNBC.com
QuietAmerican.org
MoneyCentral.msn.com
Tremble.com
Weezer.com
Fool.com
GirlsArePretty.com

joelthecat.diaryland.com

Friends Can Care Alike Now
2001-12-04 - 12:43 a.m.

"Words, words, words, have you heard, a bird in hand is much better than any number free to wander... fly away, stay... you pay for what you get..." -Dave Matthews Band

Been awhile... I've been avoiding Diaryland, as it's like a form of "homework." Pretty weak, eh?

I hung out with Tot, a friend from SCAD who happens to live in town, the other day... she is unbelievably awesome, and smart, and quick-brained... like, really quick-witted... and we saw Shallow Hal, ate fine dining at "The City Cellar" (she paid! Eek!), and otherwise did the "shopping" thing at city place, downtown West Palm Beach. I had a gay ol' time, I am grateful for her gettin' me out the house- although at that point I was doing well. These last three days, both my parents had turns being the "bad" one, frustrating me to no end.

My mom went into "cleaning monster" mode this weekend. When I was young, once a month she'd get into a cleaning frenzy and complain about everything and move stuff and throw stuff out and just otherwise be miserable...

...And as I write this... I *JUST* make the connection as to why it was around once a month this would happen. Well, I'll be!!!

So anyway... after hearing her say "Shit" a thousand times, and calling the house "disgusting" a couple hundred times... even though there's just like, one or two things on a table top and that's it- I hide in my room, lying on the bed. She comes in to return a random object in the house to my room, and then gets mad cuz I opened the window shades; saying that she doesn't like anyone looking in the house.

I could understand this at night, in a high crime area- but it's daytime, and from outside, you can't see a THING, and what you can see, you'd have to come RIGHT up to the window to see. I couldn't escape her in the house, I couldn't even get decent lighting in my room, so I put on socks and sneakers, and decided to just leave for a walk.

I found a fireworks store, lots of car dealerships, a McDonalds (YAY!), a Miami Subs (Yay!!), a Papa John's, a Walgreens, and a CARNIVAL (with the swingy-back and forth boat thingy!! FUCK YEAH!)

And furthermore, when I got home, my mom told me I'm a really good son, and that she's sorry she picks on me, and that she'll stop. She says she gets into spells cuz it's like, a cover for depression she's fighting or something... she was doing Christmas decorating, and stuff's reminding her of Mandi, my sister (who passed away). I knew she had changed since she got here, I figured it was mostly the lack of contact she has with people who aren't my equally manic Grandmom... but I forgot about the sister factor. I still avoided her for most the weekend, but I think I understand better, and I'll try 'n be more understanding.

Besides... now I have a reason to have issues with the *other* parental figure. My dad borrowed twenty dollars from me Saturday night, to go to an office Christmas party, and promised it back on Monday. Monday has come and gone... and I don't have my money. I bugged him like three times, subtlely, but not really at all subtlely, for him to give me the money- as he just got paid today. He played it off the first time, makin a joke about my driving lessons being $5 each, and today's being my fourth. This was right before we went off to drive... I was miffed. I took the driving lesson as professionally as I could, but avoided small talk. I kept quiet, but just avoided conversing as much as possible... cuz every other thought in my head was that he didn't re-pay me yet as promised. I think he caught onto this, and all today from then on, had been talkin' to me a lot trying to get me to respond- I have no choice to but to answer back... so... augh. Makin it worse, is that he made an attempt to pay me back.. asking if I had change for a 50... he, having taken my last 20, left me with no such change... and so I told him no, and that was left at that. I'm still short my re-payment, and if I bitch about it more, I get to seem like the bad guy, and like I don't trust him... and if I stay shut, I'm not fully sure if I'll get repaid, and my relationship with him, who I rely on here, suffers. I didn't want to lend him the money to begin with, but he was really nice about the asking part, and really made it seem like he'd give it back no problem when he got paid... and now... augh. I'd forgotten about this kinda stuff in Savannah. I'm pissed.

"I say the right things, but act the wrong way, I like it right here but I cannot stay, I watch the TV, forget what i'm told, well, I am too young, and they are too old, oh, man, can't you see I'm ever so keen, pretend to be nice but i can be mean, I miss the last bus, you take the next train, I try but you see it's hard to explain." -The Strokes

Reason for Terror # 82:

Using phrase "da bomb" unwittingly in phone tapped conversations could lead to arrest and beatings by the FBI, local authorities, and hip police.

Reason for Terror # 81:

There was a little bit of mold on that bread you had this morning.

Reason for Terror # 80:

When evening falls, you can try to drive away; but the moon will be following... always following...