National State of Alert:
(as of 3-8-04)

Personal State of Alert:
(as of 3-8-04)

Reason for Personal State of Alert:
- So this is post-college life? Really? *shivers*

- The Passion of Christ featured a deleted scene where Christ called me out and told me "You're next"

Featured Links:
Diaryland.com
OnlineOnslaught.com
MSNBC.com
QuietAmerican.org
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Tremble.com
Weezer.com
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joelthecat.diaryland.com

Get Yo Rut On
2001-10-04 - 12:39 p.m.

"Good afternoon, Savannah College of Art and Design" -me, over and over and over.

I had a dream last night, that I remembered while walking from the place I made a printout for a project to my job. It involved playing golf with my dad and some other dude... and looking up, and seeing rainbows... more than one... some forming as I watched... and just lots and lots of joy from the sky... I think fireworks... or like... glitteriness... just goodness.

I mention this, cuz I think it ties into getting me out of this mini-funk I'm in right now. I was assigned to do a poster for the Red Cross, Solidarity Bonds (which I think my teacher made up), or for patriotism for my Typography class, in the wake of the events of September 11th.

I saw classmates use imagery of the Twin Towers in their projects, some of more questionable taste than others, and decided that I wanted to pay respect, and do it right, cuz yes, the attacks hit close to home for me.

I originally came up with an idea of using the colors of the American flag, and using bars from it in perspective to symbolically represent the towers, and use names of the victims as background, or to fill in the lower area.

I went to start on the projects, and went to cnn.com to get the list of names. I was in shock, once again, at what I saw... the page listing all those dead or missing was unbelievably massive. They listed ages, hometowns, professions... and even more information was provided when you were on the pages detailing the victims of the flight passengers. Pairs of brothers were wiped out... 2 teachers and the 2 students they were accompanying on a trip the students won from National Geographic- the lists went on and on. I didn't want to put the names as a background anymore... I didn't want to pick and choose names to use and selectively edit out and disrespect people as merely a design element. I decided to list all the victims from the attacks, and present them as respectfully as possible.

Over time, though, I realized that it wouldn't fit on 11 x 17, standard print job size for a poster... a $10 dollar job. I decided that I didn't care about the price hike to do a bigger job, and went to 16 x 25.... but even then, I had to kept the text at 6 pt font size, and make 8 columns to fit in everyone. It was an unbelievable amount of people. I was quoted 24 dollars as a price, and decided that was do-able. I finished it yesterday afternoon, submitted it, and was re-quoted $30 dollars for the job. Turned in everything- it seemed fine- and this morning, got my print back, it was $40 dollars... but there was an error. Two of the names overprinted on top of each other and formed a jumble on the top of one of the columns. I wouldn't have even minded the $40 bucks coming out my pocket, but there was an error... and I feel like I've failed them somehow... and blah.

But I think that's where the dream comes in. Seeing as my dreams have been leaning towards the bad side lately, with two dreams about plane attacks on my old Bronx neighborhood... it was an odd... kind of cool change of pace. Let's see how this goes over in class.. and how I feel after that.

Life, otherwise, has been good. I went bowling last night with Lambda, and won both games, actually bowling a 148 in the second one, with Lambda mates and I having odd names on the scoring TV (I was "Squirrel," then "San Cheez", Mike was "Mike the Pizza..." okay... ya hadda be there).

Things were good, had a fun night.... but I was a little exhausted having gone non-stop since 9 am before that with work for classes. But I think I have this weekend free... so... yeah.. good... life... good.

Shaun also dropped off a letter at my door at 1 am on Monday night, after the official break up. He dissected Fiona Apple's song "I Know" and applied it to how he felt. Eddie found it kind of scary... I tried to see it for what it was... I feel bad cuz I know what he's going through, as I've been in his position... but I don't see anything changing or me wanting to get together with him again anytime soon after the awkwardness of how things ended and... yeah. Sorry Shaun.

I think I'm fixing to be single for awhile. Well, that, or if I get into it with someone, I'll tell him upfront how I feel about my free time (highly valued) and level of commitment (lowly valued). I have to take care of myself... I'm all about lovey goodness- but I don't even know if I have time for a boyfriend. Senior year has been intense... actually, my other years probably would've been this intense had I taken the work aspect of school as seriously as I am now. But that's where I stand... my need for freedom isn't a problem I'm working through, as Shaun has stated... but just that- a realistic need to be independent, and to take care of what I have to on my precious free time.

Ah well. More stuff... still feeling kinda blah 'bout my project. I'll see after class.

"Get yo freak on.. Get yo freak on... get get get get yo freak on" -Missy Eliot & Nelly Furtado

Reason for Terror # 82:

Using phrase "da bomb" unwittingly in phone tapped conversations could lead to arrest and beatings by the FBI, local authorities, and hip police.

Reason for Terror # 81:

There was a little bit of mold on that bread you had this morning.

Reason for Terror # 80:

When evening falls, you can try to drive away; but the moon will be following... always following...