National State of Alert:
(as of 3-8-04)

Personal State of Alert:
(as of 3-8-04)

Reason for Personal State of Alert:
- So this is post-college life? Really? *shivers*

- The Passion of Christ featured a deleted scene where Christ called me out and told me "You're next"

Featured Links:
Diaryland.com
OnlineOnslaught.com
MSNBC.com
QuietAmerican.org
MoneyCentral.msn.com
Tremble.com
Weezer.com
Fool.com
GirlsArePretty.com

joelthecat.diaryland.com

Chum Bubblegum Tongue
2002-08-21 - 10:18 p.m.

"AHHH!! LOVE IS JUST A BULLY!! SAN FRANCISCO BOY! SAYS I WANT YOUR MONEY!! YEAH!" - probably misinterpretted Mason Jennings

Last night, Shasta, Daniel and I ate at TGIF's, then went back to her place for some night swimming, then three way bubble bath / showerage (in our swimsuits). Fun!

Tonight, I just feel kinda stupid. It seems that every time I have the opportunity to flirt or express this silly, childish, want him cuz I can't have him interest in gay-acting "straight" boy Daniel... I flub it or pass it up. It's like my subconscious strongly works against me... or maybe it's my conscious. I'm really good at this stuff when I'm not actually in a situation to use it. It's horrible.

Several good friends have informed me to give it up. A very cool net one warned me his brother "reflex flirts," and can't help it, be it with a cat, a dog, or whatever, and I need to tell him to put up or shut up, and move on appropriately. Another friend was more concerned about the possibility of me causing him mental strife. And yet another friend, who had experience with the boy in high school told me to simply get him drunk, and his attitude is residual damage from their old school. Me... I'm thinking... well.. I'm thinking I need to just FRIGGIN SAY SOMETHING. This has gone on way too long. I'm starting to feel cruddy again.

Not that that stopped me last weekend from going to the club... and being all make-out and freakish with an acquaintance. I found out he had a "straight" boy roomie who he's had some kind of experience with, and he was probably using me to get him jealous... me, on the other hand, was using him cuz his new hairstyle was really cute, and... well, there WAS liquor in me... and... I needed the experience. Definitely.

"Theeeeeme, from a suuuummer plaaace... cuz it's the theme.. fromasummerplace.. it's the theme, from a.. summerplace, the theme, it's the theme... fromasummerplace" -Theme from a Summer Place

If you play strip poker by yourself, do you always win- or lose? Hum.

So yeah. Friggin closet boy lust. It blows. I was content not having a boyfriend... not having aspirations for a boyfriend... but then, all it takes is some challenging, frustrating "candidate" to tease and taunt me with what I could have, but have yet to on a local basis. And he has no clue... no one in town that could help me does... ah well.

Oh yeah... good news. I got my driver's permit!! Landmark!! It was a total, absolute bitch to get, and concluded a week or two of Hell after I lost all my important cards... my ID, my SCAD ID, bank card, and Mastercard. If, by any chance, you were thinking about dramatically throwing your wallet into the ocean in a fit of rage against a lover- you might want to reconsider- you'll be paying for that mistake for a very long time, in long distance bills, wasted time, and frustration.

But yeah, I got my permit. I missed the maximum amount of allowed questions to miss, five, and had to get a letter of clearance faxed to the office from Florida to prove that my ID wasn't revoked for some reason, but it's all good. I did it... and even got to eat McDonald's and play Dance Dance Revolution at an arcade that day. Wait.. this was yesterday. Yesterday, I played Dance Dance, ate McDonalds (which, if you know me, means a lot of happiness and sunshine), got my permit, ate a good meal at TGIF, went night swimming, and partook in a group bubble bath... what do I have to bitch about? Yeesh.

Damn urges.

Reason for Terror # 82:

Using phrase "da bomb" unwittingly in phone tapped conversations could lead to arrest and beatings by the FBI, local authorities, and hip police.

Reason for Terror # 81:

There was a little bit of mold on that bread you had this morning.

Reason for Terror # 80:

When evening falls, you can try to drive away; but the moon will be following... always following...